Here I am, sitting in the waiting room as my youngest attends his therapy session.
My little sensitive, anxiety prone boy, who can’t sleep at night. He sincerely fears he will be murdered or kidnapped while he sleeps. He doesn’t get to watch scary movies. I have no idea why he has these thoughts.
Waiting with me is middle. He left one empty chair between us in the small waiting room. There are 3 chairs along one wall, and 3 along another. And he leaves an empty chair between us taking up one side of the small waiting space. He forgot to bring his book to read. He refuses to look at the reading material on the table. There are even a few kid choices. But he won’t even look. Instead, he sits and scowls.
He should be in therapy too. But funding therapy for his attachment disorder is nearly impossible.
Tomorrow, we will live the special kind of hell that is a social services home visit. A social worker will come quiz my kids on our parenting. They will have to answer questions about our home, and if they feel safe.
Why? Because middle son reported to the school counselor claiming he wasn’t safe and his father threatened to kill him. He also claimed he had been punched before arriving at school.
The thing that pisses me off? The counselor called it in to human services instead of checking with us. I have told her that he has reactive attachment disorder. I asked her to please look into RAD, become familiar with it. Clearly, she never took the time. If she had, she would understand him saying these things is typical RAD behavior.
This isn’t the first time he has caused big drama. Last year he gave a detailed account of a bus driver hitting kids. He had names, reasons, all types of statements to back up his claim. Thankfully, the bus had cameras, and the driver faced no consequences. My son later admitted making it all up. He even got his little brother to agree to his lies thru some intimidation tactics. I was shocked at how detailed the lies had been, and that I had fallen for it.
Now, as parents, it is our turn to face his manipulation and lies.
I am angry. Little is so full of anxiety as it is. I cannot imagine him living thru being taken from us for ANY amount of time if a social worker believes my middle son.
I am also angry that my middle son now knows that his lies can hold power. Tremendous power. Power to destroy our family and lives.
I wonder if we ruined all of our lives in an effort to try to fix his?
In this moment, right now, it feels that way.