I don’t like entertaining people. I will never have a home with spaces designed for entertaining guests. I do not like having to remember to offer a drink or a snack and playing hostess. I feel like if I have allowed you in, you should feel comfortable enough to get a drink if you are thirsty. Or, at the very least ask if you want me to get it. But please, don’t sit there wanting something and waiting because I didn’t read your mind and offer.
Here is another dilemma with guests…
What is the polite way to ask them to leave?
This is awkward. I don’t enjoy guests very much mostly because of this.
If I schedule a playdate for 1pm and say “after lunch” that means I won’t be making lunch for everyone. I will expect to provide just a snack. I would also expect that unless prior arrangements werr made, you would take your child home before supper time. Because a few hours can feel like days…and I certainly do not plan a playdate to purposefully last 7 hours. I don’t want to scramble to make food for extra people because 4 hrs into the playdate, I am STILL entertaining.
Which brings me back to this:
How do you ask people to leave??!!
Guests…I have kids. Kids need to be in bed on time if I want the next day to be a good one. This is even more important on a school night.
Please, if it is getting late, go home! If I begin having kids change into pj’s, you need to take the hint and go home.
Friends, I try to be friendly, and understand. However, I just cannot. If I am dropping hints left and right that you need to get moving, and you aren’t picking up on them, I am at a loss.
My anxiety will not allow me to say, “For fucks sake man, it is time for you to go!” even though I am screaming it in my mind.
Instead, I smile and pretend I am ok.
Socializing is exhausting for me. It hasn’t always been this way. But, things change…and this is how it is now.
Anxiety means I crave interaction and friends. It also means this exhausts me and I regret the plans when it is time.
I also hate entertaining because my home is…mine.
For many years we did foster care. It is truly like living in a glass house. You are judged constantly, and have no choice but to allow people into your home.
Now that I am done with that part of my life, I really want my space to be…mine. Allowing people in is hard for me.
I also do not trust people with my kids. This means most of the time my kids want to play with friends I try to arrange a meeting place. A park in nice weather, or an indoor playland. It also means sometimes I schedule playdates at my house. Sigh. My anxiety will not allow me to leave my kids at your house. And, I won’t invite myself to stay…so my house it is.
So, with all of this said, how do you politely ask someone to leave??!!