Tags
We all do it. Give advice when we aren’t asked. We think it’s helpful, when really it’s rude.
Sometimes, people really ARE just trying to help. Sometimes, people are being judgmental assholes and thinking they know your children better than you do. Sometimes, it hard to decipher which one of these situations is the one you are in.
I try really hard to not be a judgmental asshole. But, human nature says I am. So, I try to keep my judgmental nature between me and my husband. I try not to give unsolicited advice, since I really hate it.
My situation with a special needs child means I get a ton of unwanted comments. Friends and family have no idea what my child is like daily. When I say my 7 yr old will pee on the floor intentionally when he is mad at me they think I’m exaggerating. Why? Because they see him on occasion, and he is charming to people who he doesn’t see daily. He can be sweet. Especially to grandparents who will give him candy when he is. Ugh. Grandparents who then live to tell me how to raise him…like they have a clue.
I’m currently struggling with judgmental people. I want to let it go. I want to be the bigger person. But I also want to tell them to shove their advice where the sun doesn’t shine.
So help me…
bitsfromheaven said:
You can tell me to shove it whenever you need to, want to! Because I feel that way at times. And it’s okay to feel that way! It is VERY hard to explain the dueling personalities of kids with ODD or RD. My own son, whose 18 now, doesn’t remember a lot of what he did as a child, and in his eyes I’m mostly not worth respecting on an even ground. But that’s okay, because I remember, and I know I did the very best. I still have the scars – literally. So tell me or whoever you need to, to bug off!
LikeLike
licensedtoparent said:
You’ve never stepped on my toes, or given me advice that felt belittling! The problem is people who have no idea…it’s so annoying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
bitsfromheaven said:
I’m just letting you know lol! I’ve had a therapist tell me I just didn’t know what I was doing with my son…and then apologize after seeing him a few times. I wish there was an easier way to approach things, but I have found that honesty is best. If they are angry as a result they need to find go find their safe space.
LikeLiked by 1 person