Today, a kid from middles class and his younger sister showed up at my house shortly after 9am. I told the kids we were not ready for the day yet, and they could come back at 10:30. Instead, the kids jumped our small fence meant for our dogs, but a fence all the same, and began playing in our backyard. Not only that, they tried our doors to let themselves in. Um…no.
As calmly as I could, I told them, again, they could come back later, and could not just play in our yard in the meantime. They finally reluctantly left.
They were back, earlier than 10:30, once again in our backyard.
I calmly tried to explain fences were not to be jumped. I questioned why the kids little sister was also at my house. She isn’t in the same grade. If I send middle to play with a friend, I’m not sending younger along…that isn’t how it is supposed to work.
Oh, wait…this mom wanted some kid free time. A free babysitter under the misguided notion of a neighborhood playdate.
I didn’t volunteer as tribute. I didn’t ask to babysit the neighborhood for free.
And yet, ANOTHER child shows up in my yard. Holy hell…what is going on? Now we are at 3 kids, besides my own!
How is my yard the gathering spot? oh, we have a lot of cool things, and space. But, I’ve also got a lot on my plate. I’ve got 11 foster cats to manage. I’m bottle feeding 3 kittens. And I can’t take my eyes off these kids for a moment because they are wild and apeshit. My youngest got hit in the face with a plastic bat after 3 warnings from me to please not swing bats until everyone is out of the way. One plastic baseball destroyed. A large toy thrown down the slide. A kid trying to climb into our pool after being told it was off limits. Kids taunting and screaming at my dogs. It was a nightmare.
I literally sent them all home after 1 hour to be able to feed my cats and slam a drink. That’s right, I downed a drink before noon. Mommy needed some anger management.
Who the hell sends kids to houses unannounced anymore? To be clear, this isn’t the 80s, where kids left in the morning and returned with the street lights. While I miss those days of community and worry free parenting, they are gone. I dont know these kids parents, nor do they know me. I don’t have a number to call in case of emergency, or just to say, “I’m sending the kids back, we are busy. Please call first next time.”
It’s even more complicated with a child who has a behavioral disorder. When his friends show up, his brain melts. If I say no, I’m in for numerous tantrums and disaster. If I say yes, he’s destructive and crazy, thinking he can do whatever he wants because someone else is there.
I’ve learned neither of these places is one I’d send my kid to play at.
I’m not the free neighborhood babysitter. That wasn’t a paydate. It was drop in babysitting, unpaid. It was bullshit.
My kids would never walk i to someones backyard and play, or try to let themselves in.
Now I’m debating if I need bigger and better fences. What a nightmare.
And, they had no idea how to treat my pets. People please teach kids how to behave around pets.
All I saw was out of control kids, waiting for an accident to happen, to then be sued, since this is what it’s come to now.
And that my friends, is why it isn’t like the 80s anymore. If I got hurt then at a friend’s house, it wasn’t an issue. Now, it’s a lawsuit.
Fuck that. Keep your kids at home. Or, at the very least, get my number and meet at a park.