My daughter had a fundraiser this weekend for a school trip. You know, those out-of-state trips that cost several hundred dollars, and seem mostly unrelated to the activity, except on thing on the 4 day itinerary to make the trip legit.
She’s been asking me to cough up double the cost and come as a chaperone. I’ve been debating it…as it is hard with 2 smaller kids at home. My husband would have to take vacation from his job to manage the household so I could spend nearly $1000 to go along on a trip that sounds a bit miserable.
But, I’m flattered my daughter, as a high school senior, still likes me enough to WANT me to come.
Anyway, the teacher involved is one I like. We’ve had several personal conversations. She’s trying to adopt, and I’ve gone through the process, twice.
I felt we got along. I genuinely liked this woman.
When my daughter arrived at the fundraiser, her friend told her this teacher had been talking negatively about me.
The issue stems from a fb post I made regarding school dress codes (I’m friends with this teacher on fb). I hate the dress codes that are made to body shame girls, yet don’t apply to boys. I hate that teachers don’t comply the same way, and that school uniforms are exempt (cheerleaders/poms). My daughter isn’t one to break the code, but I’m angry for every girl who has been told her shoulders are a distraction, her bra strap can be seen, her skirt is a quarter inch too short, etc. The lesson here is that a girls body is a distraction, and it’s a horrible message that spreads rape culture. The teacher chimed in that kids need to get used to a dress code since work places will have them. True enough. But that is also a choice they will make when the time comes. I told her I would politely agree to disagree with her on the topic, even saying “I think you are a good person, and don’t want to debate it.”
Apparently, she has decided I am negative toward the school, and decided to give this opinion to other students and parents while at the fundraiser. I wasn’t there, nor was my daughter. But, when she arrived, things had been said about me that weren’t true, to the point of one student suggesting I take my kids to a different school. Whoa. My daughter was pretty upset to hear what had happened, and that her friends now thought I was an awful asshole.
What her friends DIDN’T know was I was defending THEM with my position. All they heard was that I was negative and complained.
If this teacher was offended by my complaint, she should have come to me, not complain to my daughters friends and others. She was totally unprofessional.
I asked her directly what happened. She said another parent saw the dress code post and brought it up. I explained that was improbable, as my fb privacy settings are such that only friends see my posts, and I have no parents from this extracurricular activity on my list. There was a complete change of story then, where she said dress code was never brought up (wait…she had just said it was, now said it wasnt?! So, caught in a lie, in writing. Ugh). She claimed that she had defended me when someone asked why I said it was sad the fundraiser wasn’t in our own town, but one half an hour away (a student said our town didn’t do well…to which I replied it was “sad.” The teacher corrected the student, saying fundraisers in our town did fine, but they were just booked already). So, the teacher back pedaled from her original suggestion that a parent asked her about my dress code post, to saying she defended my “sad” for poor fundraiser comment as a misunderstanding due to wrong information.
Yet, my daughter dealt with other kids saying I must be an awful parent, and how sad it was for my daughter, etc. My daughter was not happy. And neither was I.
I really LIKED this teacher. My daughter always looked up to her too. And now we both have been disappointed.
I hate when people suck.