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It’s hard days like today when I resent my husband. 

Prior to legally adopting middle, I voiced concerns over his behavioral issues. I felt they were too much for me to handle. His RAD is directed at me, and is difficult. He is aggressive sometimes, and over time it has been directed at me, animals, and his younger brother. I worry about the future, and when he is bigger in size, and whether behavior will escalate.

I said I didn’t think I could do it. I was (and am) overwhelmed. 

He told me then that it was him, or our marriage. If I said I couldn’t do it…our marriage would end. I get it. He felt a bond I wasn’t able to quite form (damn RAD). 

I chose to try. My marriage is everything. 

Days like today…hard days, I resent it…the ultimatum.

Some days are just too hard.

I know my own faults. I know I am also partially to blame. I know these challenges are hard for me.

Yet, I won’t quit. I think about it sometimes. But, this is where I belong. As hard as it is…I chose it.

Just breathe…

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