If you have been reading this blog for awhile, you know my relationship with my mother is very dysfunctional.
If you are new…to keep it brief I will just say it is a pretty toxic relationship. She thrives on chaos and unhappiness. She loves control. She hates my independence and happiness.
So it has been 5 full months since we have spoken. At all. She ignored my boys birthdays like they didnt exist. Their grandma ignored their birthday!! Wtf.
So I had decided to ignore her until she apologized. But, alas, she won and I finally called.
I didn’t let her off the hook. I asked if she was ready to apologize. I almost hung up on her when she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about. I told her we wouldn’t speak again until she admitted she was treating us badly, and apologized for it.
I don’t think an apology from her is sincere, but she apologized.
Much of the rest of the conversation involved her trying to get me to feel sorry for her. But I just don’t. I can’t. If she hasn’t learned to help herself at all over the years, she never will.
I hate that things are the way they are.
I know she immediately told my siblings I called yelling at her. Any information I may have shared about my life (I have learned the hard way to keep it minimal) will be twisted and have her dramatic spin put on it. It is what it is.
I didn’t have grandparents growing up. It hurts to know my kids have the opportunity to have many. But none really step up.
I caved. I am always the one who caves and tries to fix things. Someday, I may stop trying. Who knows?