We had a meeting with my middle son’s teacher, principal, school guidance counselor, and school psychiatrist in the first month of school. We indicated we felt he could benefit from an IEP. They said his diagnoses were not enough, and he didn’t qualify.
Currently, he is diagnosed ADHD, RAD, and DMDD.
We were told we could start a behavioral intervention plan, to have ideas in place if needed.
Well, his state testing was done without IEP accomodations. He did fine in reading, but totally blew the math portion. Both tests have a time limit of 30 min. He completed the tests is less than 8 min.
While reading shows he is doing well, we don’t have an accurate idea how well since he didn’t take his time.
Math showd he is struggling. His teacher told me the 8 min time was his second try…the first time he took the test in under 5 min. There isn’t supposed to be a second attempt, but she gave him one somehow. Yet, he still raced through the test far too quickly.
We also tried to educate the team about RAD, and how this impacts how to handle him. We were careful to point out not to use nicknames or endearment terms with him, only his name. We explained teachers shouldn’t be affectionate with him, as he creates inappropriate bonds and it breaks the bonding we are trying to establish.
When I visited his classroom a week ago, I heard his teacher refer to him as “sweetheart” several times. I wanted to scream. She also hugged him when he asked. Right in front of me. My child rarely hugs me on his own. It seems silly…but his teacher hugging him ensures he won’t hug me. It takes away our bond, and he places his trust there instead.
We also asked that all correspondence be done via email. If he sees teacher notes, good or bad, his behavior escalates at home. And, what do you know, notes are written in his planner anyway.
It is hard to have a kid with these different needs. We struggle to get ut right too. But it is frustrating when we took time to sit down and write it all out…and the established guidelines aren’t followed anyway.
And I know they mean well. But they cause us harm when they do it their way instead.