My 8 yr old has Reactive Attachment Disorder. At school, he is a different person than he is at home.
He loves his teachers. Loves. He forms inappropriate relationships with them, thinking they also love him. He can’t form proper loving relationships with me, as his mom. But he instead connects to those he knows are temporary, non-threatening in his mind because of the boundaries. Me, as a mom, feels scary to him. His previous mom didn’t properly care for him. This neglect transfers to me…and he cannot trust me.
Today, as I walked the hall of school dropping off my youngest son, I saw my 8 yo. He gave me a huge hug (he only behaves like that at school…at home he almost never hugs me). Then, he began to cry. He was feeling emotional because it was the last day a teacher assistant would be in class.
Seriously, this is classic. He has formed such an attachment to this temporary person in his life, that he is devastated today. Yet, if I died tomorrow, he would not care.
Being a RAD mom is hard.